- Sertaline – 100 mg
- Brexpiprazole – 2 mg
- Bupropion – 150 mg
Things took a sharp turn 2 weeks ago. I hit close to bottom again. Stress from family time plus an unexpected “miscommunication” from my wife sent me reeling.
My family did nothing wrong, but my body and mind were preparing for the worst, whatever that may be. It got to the point I had to take an anti-anxiety pill. Not wanting to talking about family history, politics, nor news made me think of all those things and “prepare” just in case they brought it up.
The “miscommunication” with my wife put me on red alert and sent me into complete panic mode. It came raveling into pieces at therapy, first couples therapy but acutely at my individual therapy. I broke down and told my wife and couples therapist about how I was following people. I swear I saw my uncle on a few occasions and my brother. At one point I took a photo of someone car license plate just to be on the safe side.
At individual therapy, I was shaking uncontrollably and not sure of where I was. By half way through my therapist wanted to call the hospital. We, really she, spent the rest of the time making sure I was safe. She told me not to drive home, to walk, the bus, or taxi.
My therapist was upset that I had not reached out to her or my psychiatrist before that night. “We are here to help, whenever you need us.”
Why does the talk of an open marriage trigger thoughts of panic, of past abuse, doomsday thinking? I am not coping well with life and again talk of my kids brought me back. I need to make sure they are okay.
tribesf 